Thoughts for now

Hi Friends!
It's been a while.
I've been having a hard time these past couple of weeks. . .

The best word I can think of to describe how I feel: Lost.

Suddenly I am not required to spend hours a day at school, but somehow I'm supposed to already be working on my career path towards excellence. How is it possible to have a "career" straight out of college?

"Idle hands are the devil's playthings."
If that's true, then I'm in trouble. I have way too much free time on my hands. How do I fill my days with meaningful activities? I try to read but cannot concentrate for long, distracted by nothingness.

I wish I could go back to school, or rather I wish I could dance all day like we did in school. I wish I was rich enough to travel to L.A. and New York City every couple of weekends for auditions, so that I could get a job dancing.

I feel inadequate at life. No direction.

I am stuck at home when I'm not working. I can sometimes pay for the bus, but not having a car makes it hard to do just about anything. It's the feeling of being stuck that makes it worse. I hate calling around asking for a ride too, I feel like I'm intruding on people's lives.

I also feel very scattered, can you tell?
Short thoughts that keep trailing away, almost incomplete.
What is my purpose?