Hey! Hi! Over Here!

I have not always loved yoga. Nope, not even close. I used to hate it, seriously. When I had a dance class schedule a yoga day, I planned to skip that day. Why? Well, the first few times I took yoga classes after I got home, I would spend the next few hours in what felt like a black hole. I refused to talk to my friends, or do anything really. I was depressed and upset, at what, who knows?
This made me frustrated, isn't yoga supposed to make you feel good?
I finally had talked to a few teachers about my problem with yoga, maybe I was doing something wrong. They all told me that yoga releases buried, deep emotions that need to be let out. That if I was feeling a certain way, it was because I was suppressing it. Well, that wasn't the most encouraging thing to hear. I felt like I wasn't secretly depressed, my life does not suck.
I decided I was going to try to do yoga anyway. If I was actually suppressing something, I needed to figure it out and deal with it. After a while of trying out different yoga styles, and sticking through it all. I finally started to feel better, clearer. And I started to understand myself, and maybe why I had all these weird emotions trapped in my chest.
I HATE being ignored. Yup, it was as simple as that. For those of you who don't know me very well, both of my parents are deaf. If my mom was sick of "listening" to me, she closed her eyes. What can you do to that? Yell and scream? She ain't gonna hear you. This along with the fact that I'm a small person, so it's easy for people to look over me in group conversations. I also noticed that when I feel like I'm being ignored, I make the problem worse by going silent. Well, there it was, I guess I was upset at people for ignoring me. Except, that wasn't exactly fair.
The yoga helped me to see that people are just trying to be people. So no one was going out of their way to make me feel this way, they didn't hate me. I just needed to find a way to be heard.
Thats why I started this blog, so I can write random things. To myself, to whoever's out there reading. So I feel like I'm making an effort to be heard and not ignored. :)